Orchard of Mines
by Emalin
Summary: She was here. He could sense her - had sensed her since he made planetfall. She wasn't trying to hide, and that meant she wanted him to find her here, in this ruined temple of the old Jedi. Reylo, Ep. IX speculation: the moment Kylo turns.


I don't typically write Reylo fic and say "omg this TOTALLY needs to be in Episode 9." But holy sh*t I had a vision of Kylo's redemption moment, a freakin VISION. And if this isn't at least kind of what happens, I think I might die a little.

The next two years are gonna be very, very long.

P.S. The Globus cover of "Orchard of Mines" by Asia was my theme song for this. Hence the name xxx

—

Kylo walked slowly through the cavernous chamber, boots crunching on age-old debris. Normally he would avoid the larger shards of metal and glass, hoping to maintain some semblance of stealth, but this time the thought didn't even cross his mind. His muscles were tense, his nerves electric as he watched the shadows around him.

She was here. He could sense her - _had_ sensed her since he made planetfall. Even the echoes of tragedies past couldn't hide her presence. It was a beacon in the Force, bright as a morning star. And as he followed it, falling into her gravitational pull like a shattered moon, his hands shook, and sweat beaded on his forehead.

She wasn't trying to hide. That much was obvious. And that meant she wanted him to find her here, in this ruined temple of the old Jedi.

When he reached the center of the chamber, a wide open space bathed in moonlight, he stopped. Beneath his feet, a mosaic of a meditating Jedi glittered gold and black under a layer of dust. He tried to appear calm, imposing, as he turned in a slow circle to scan the room. Though he saw no sign of her, there was no question: this was the place.

He spoke aloud. "I know you're in here." As his voice died and he got no reply, heat rose to his face. "Don't play these games with me. We're beyond them now."

 _It's not a game, Ben._

Her voice echoed clearly through their bond. He swallowed, trying to ignore the pang of longing it gave him. "Don't call me that," he said quietly.

 _No. That is your real name. I won't call you anything else._

Every reply he could think of felt whinging and desperate. So he settled for searching the shadows again, more intently this time. Soon his gaze landed on a broken statue of a Jedi master. Behind it, the shadows were dark - but not as dark as the rest.

 _There,_ the Force whispered to him.

He stared, heart pounding. His mouth went dry, and he couldn't speak. When he finally did, his voice was as soft as a prayer. "Come out."

She stepped out of the shadows. He lost his breath, overwhelmed at the sight of her. She was _here,_ in the flesh, and she was looking at him with a gentleness he thought he'd never see again.

Her hair was longer now, her clothing of choice a hooded robe, like Luke's had been. A lightsaber dangled at her side, and with a shock, Kylo realized it was the lightsaber they had broken. She had repaired it - even made it into a double-bladed weapon, like the Sith had once used. Before he could wonder at the implications, she spoke.

"Ben."

The name hurt like hell. His temper flared. "I said don't call me that," he spat, hand springing to the hilt of his lightsaber.

Her gaze flicked down to his hand, then back to his face. "Why? Are you afraid that I'll call him out of his cell? That you won't be able to stop him?"

He brushed past the question like it didn't terrify him. "Where are your friends?"

"Gone. It's just us now."

When her answer registered, he realized something he'd known all along. _This was a trap._ Fear exploded inside him, and he gripped his lightsaber. He wanted to run, to get as far away from here as he could, but something else kept him rooted to the ground. So he just stood there, helpless, as she walked toward him one tentative step at a time.

Then she crossed an invisible line, and suddenly he could move again. He jerked back. "Don't come any closer." She stopped, confused and hurt, raising her hands in a gesture of non-violence. Though her reaction pained him, he was grateful to her.

"Ben," she said, "I had to bring you here. It was the only way to—"

"To what? Win me over to the Resistance?" He scoffed. "Save your strength. Your Resistance couldn't matter less to me."

"No, Ben, I'm not here for the Resistance. I'm here..." She paused, like she was struggling for words. Hands still raised, she stepped forward. "...I'm...here for you."

He backed away. _Here for you?_ What could that possibly mean? There had to be some duplicity to this. Had to be.

And yet, she was looking at him with a face as open as a child's, and he couldn't feel a single trace of deception in her. How? Was she that good at lying? He couldn't believe that - not with her.

His jaw hardened, and he shook his head. "You're wasting your time."

"You're wrong." She walked toward him impulsively, making him fall back several steps. "Run if you want, kill me if you must, but I won't stop trying to reach you, Ben Solo. Not until you end it."

He stared at her in disbelief. No...that wasn't _fair._ He could never hurt her. She knew that.

So why make that his only choice? It wasn't fair. _Wasn't fair._

Slowly, Rey lowered her hands. Regret rolled off her in waves, confusing him with its sincerity. "I failed you, Ben. I thought I could use you to turn the tide. Like you're just a...a weapon. Something to be wielded." Tears sprang to her eyes. "I was wrong. You're more than that and you always were. I just couldn't see it."

He found himself stammering. "N-no. No, I have nothing left. I'm... I'm nothing."

"Not to me," she said. He blinked, and tingles ran down his skin. A voice inside him started screaming. _No no no no..._

She stepped forward, and this time he stayed still. As she moved closer and closer, he watched her eyes guardedly, trying to ignore the screaming. Yet the closer she got, the worse it became, until he could barely think.

She stopped within an arm's reach of him. He could see the sprinkle of freckles on her nose, hear each shaky intake of breath. A single tear dripped down her cheek.

"I need you, Ben. More than I've ever needed anything." She held out a hand, and he saw it was trembling. "Be with me. Please."

 _NO NO NO NO_ the voice screamed. This way was death, pain, humiliation, shattering into a thousand pieces. He would never come back from this, never.

"I'm not worthy," he choked out. Tears broke free of his eyes, rolling down in heavy drops. "So much death at my hands. My own father... Luke's students. How could I touch you again?"

"Because I _need_ it, Ben. You're part of me. All this time I've been searching for where I belong, and..." Her voice fell to a whisper. "...It's you. It's always been you."

The screaming in his head was almost incoherent now. He could feel it banging around inside, like a monster driven mad by the smell of blood. _She's going to kill you kill her first save yourself you're unworthy letmeoutletmeoutLETMEOUT—_

He removed his right glove. The screaming turned into a wordless howl, and he reached through the maelstrom of anger and pain... and touched human skin.

 _Her_ skin.

In that moment, he died and was reborn. Warmth rippled through his body, like he was feeling sunlight for the first time. And before he could react, she was embracing him, all of him, her slender arms around his shoulders and her chin in the crook of his neck. He'd opened the door an inch, and she'd ripped it off its hinges. There'd be no closing it again, even if he wanted to.

As she held him tight, reaching up to stroke his hair, what was left of his facade crumbled. His whole body began to shake, and suddenly he was sobbing - sobbing like a little boy - clinging to her for dear life as faces cascaded through his mind. Luke. His fellow students. Mother. _Father._ They'd failed him, but he'd failed them all the more. _Forgive me. Forgive me._

Through it all, she never let him go. He didn't know how. He wasn't shielding her from any of it. The grief had to be crashing over her like a tidal wave, drowning her senses completely.

She felt his concern. _It's okay, I'm here,_ she whispered through their bond. _I'm not leaving you._

And she didn't, even though he stayed there for hours, weeping by the light of the moon.

—

At some point, she'd moved them both into a dark corner behind a pile of rubble. He knew because he woke up there the next morning, wrapped in his cloak, eyes puffy and sore from tears. He had a feeling the Force had prodded him awake, though he wasn't sure why. Then he thought Rey had left. He bolted upright, panicked, looking around for her, until he saw her in the corner beside him. She was asleep with her back to the wall, head lolling to the side as she breathed through an open mouth.

She'd kept her promise. It would've been so easy for her to slip away. Break him down, render him useless, then leave him to the ghosts of the Jedi. But she hadn't. She'd meant every word she said.

 _You're part of me. All this time I've been searching for where I belong, and...it's you. It's always been you._

He swallowed, overcome with emotion. Reaching out, he caressed her cheek. She stirred, breathing deeply, and opened her eyes. When she saw his face, she smiled.

"Ben," she said.

The name pierced right through him. Unable to speak, he pulled her into his arms and held her.

He would never let go, either. For as long as the Force let him live, he would protect her.

Suddenly, a premonition of danger tugged at his mind, and he froze. Distant voices echoed through the chamber, coming from a corridor on the other side. He pulled away, listening just long enough to identify them.

 _The First Order._ This was why the Force had awakened him.

"It's Hux's troops." He looked at Rey. "You have to leave. Go to your friends. I'll distract the troops so you can escape."

He tried to stand, but she grabbed his arm. "Ben, what will they do if they find you here?"

"They won't." Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her forehead. "Promise me you won't let them see you." She nodded mutely. "Now go. Go."

She scrambled to her feet and hurried for a nearby gap in the wall. Before slipping through, she looked back at him one last time, her feelings spilling over in her eyes. He looked back at her, clenching his jaw, trying not to break down as she disappeared into the darkness.

The Force wouldn't bring them here just to let them fall.

He _had_ to see her again. Had to.


End file.
